


Axed

by HeatherGiesbrecht



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aliens, Complete, Cross-Generation Relationship, Crossover, Crossover Pairing, Dwarves, Established Relationship, Interspecies Relationship, M/M, Magic, Memories, One Shot, Pre-Fellowship of the Ring, Pre-Thor (2011), Slash, Talking, Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Time Skips, Unrequited Lust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 20:45:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14120466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeatherGiesbrecht/pseuds/HeatherGiesbrecht
Summary: Loki wished he had Gimli's axe. It would've stopped the Grandmaster's smiles in a heartbeat.





	Axed

"Gimli, you have to see this !" Loki called back into the ancient fortress' entrance hall. The air was crisp and clear, sunlight gleamed off the waterfall whose stream supplied the emerald canopies hundreds of feet below and once sated the fortress's warriors.

Gimli hurried out brandishing his battle axe. "What is it, Loki ?! Orcs, dragons, Thor ? Let that blond slag pool have a taste of my axe. Dwarves can't be warriors, my foot. I should have stuck it up his ass when he said that."

He couldn't help laughing at the angry dwarf. "It's a lovely foot indeed, Gimli, but I pray you stay your axe. I'd not see my father throw you in the dungeons for murder, and someone needs to do the heavy lifting that I cannot. In actuality, I meant for you to come see the view."

"Oh, oh. Well, I'll just put this down then." Gimli murmured, smoothing his beard with one hand. "Hmm, place's got nice, sturdy crenellations if nothing else. Not quite as good as Dwarven masonry, of course, but very good in its own right."

"You are a piece of work, Son of Gloin, and I would never wish that changed. I can use magic if you want to see ?"

"Ah, I suppose it couldn't hurt really ? Whoa !" The red haired dwarf clutched at the crenellations as he rose teleknetically. A gasp of awe and fear as he saw how high they were. "It's, uh, look over there, a door ! There could be long-lost heirlooms or jewels or something for you to bring back. Let's go check, Loki."

* * *

Someone wouldn't stop saying his name in an annoying sing-song. "Loki, Loki ? Wakey-wakey, Sleeping Beauty."

Wake up ? He was awake, he just didn't want to get up. Groggily, he opened his eyes and screamed while clutching the blanket. What in the frozen flames of Hel was the Grandmaster doing in his apartment ?! Did the elder not remember a little thing called privacy ?

"Good morning." God, that smile was creepy enough to make an orc jump off of Barad-dur.

He wished he had Gimli's axe. It would've stopped the Grandmaster's smiles in a heartbeat. "Ahem. Good morning. May I ask, my friend, what you're doing in my room at...," What was that bloody clock spell again ? "7:10 ?"

"It's a nice day, everyone should be up by now. Does it normally take you this long to get up ?" Blue painted nails tapped a rhythm uncomfortably close to his thigh.

Memorandum: Never sleep naked again ever. "No, and I was having a nice daydream. Thank you for interrupting it." He'd never been happier that he could just magically put on his clothes. Even if they were hideous, two-toned Sakaarin leathers. With his clothes safely on, he pushed himself up and waited.

"Ooh, sexy dream ? Anyone I know ?"

Did the man always have to say or imply something about sex ? Obsessed, that's what the Grandmaster was. "It was a normal dream, and you wouldn't know Gimli. I met him long before I landed on Sakaar." His gaze flitted over the brown eyed man's shoulder to one of the bookshelves. Carefully disguised, and even more extensively warded, were the First Annuals of the Glittering Caves. The book itself was heavily tooled dark brown leather, banded in silver and set with a piece of smoky quartz and an emerald.

"Gimli ? Who's he ?"

"Was he, you mean. The Niddir, that is the Dwarves, of his home realm only lived into their late 100s or early 200s at best. When I last saw Gimli he was 247, he'd left with the Alf Prince Legolas for the Undying Lands. That was roughly 500 years ago." Gimli would be long dead by now. His first and only mortal friend, his only lover.

"Undying Lands ? I've never heard of those, and I've heard of almost everything, trust me. Where are they ?"

He waved a hand toward the window. "I don't rightly know, I suppose they could be somewhere in space. All I know is that even if I could get there I would never come back. They can only be reached in an Alfar sailing ship on the Straight Path made when their world became a sphere. According to Alfar legend, of course." One way of reliably steering the Grandmaster away from personal things was to make it sad. "At least, at least, Gimli had one friend with him when he died. I miss him, Father and Mother, too. For all I know everyone that I still loved is dead because of Hela."

"This is depressing. I don't like it. Do you, uh, want breakfast ? 'Cause I'm starting to really want breakfast. I think we're having parfaits. Have you had one before ?"

Compared to the depths of his madness, the Grandmaster was even madder and far more amenable. Did he even want to know what a parfait was ? Just like with Thor, if the Grandmaster liked something there was a very good chance he wouldn't. Mother would have said he should try it before declining the opportunity. That was why he hated sentimentality, it always ended up hurting him. With Gimli it'd been the pain of watching his beloved dwarf sail off forever. In these past weeks though that hurt was to his tongue and taste buds. Incredibly sour this, incredibly sweet that, synthetic everything.

Yes, brute force was Thor's niche, but he'd started to reconsider it just a bit lately. The Grandmaster could be clumsy when his attention was else where and that could eventually be put to use. It would take a few years to surreptitiously oust Topaz, but afterwards an accident could easily befall Sakaar's oldest residents. Sakaar would be simpler to rule than Asgard and was so inaccessible via well-established routes that his safety from Thanos's retribution would nearly be assured. Maybe Hela would do him a favour and kill Thanos if he came calling ? Asgard was, after all, the last place Thanos knew him to be. If only it would work as smoothly in practice as in thought. Something, or rather someone, was more than likely going to end up punching things into ruination. After all, the day that Thor didn't survive to call him a witch would be the most surprising. The day he corrected Thor with sorcerer would be far less so. Was it even possible to hear Valhalla from Hel ? It seemed they'd have to find out for themselves.


End file.
